


Crimson

by Lady_Michiru



Category: Johnny's Entertainment, KAT-TUN (Band)
Genre: M/M, Pining, Romance, Soulmates, Supernatural Elements
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-18
Updated: 2017-03-18
Packaged: 2018-10-07 04:07:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10351923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_Michiru/pseuds/Lady_Michiru
Summary: There is a connection between Kame and Jin. At least Kame thinks so. He can feel it around his left pinky finger.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [FrameofMind](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FrameofMind/gifts).



> I wanted to write something pretty and fluffy, but this happened instead and I am really sorry. Thanks SO MUCH to my lovely beta and cheerleader. I love you forever.

It might be ironic that it happens here, in a high rise in frikkin’ Manhattan, so randomly far away from home; but there is no way this is a mistake. Kame feels the telltale pull on his left arm and knows. He just knows.

It’s been very long since the last time this happened, more than five years. But even if his mind had, somehow, managed to forget about this, his body would have remembered. It’s a mechanical act, a conditioned reflex. He automatically reaches for his phone and finds Yamapi in his contact list.

It should be around midday in Tokyo, and Kame has always been lousy at knowing what’s good for him.

***

The first time, the first one he remembers, Kame was an awkward and gangly 16 year old.

It was an unremarkable Friday night, and he thought he was going to die based on the tingly feeling and the numbness that started on his pinky finger and went all up his left arm. That was how a heart attack felt, right? Numbness and pain?

But the pain never came; the feeling just stood there —pins and needles on his arm and a strange sensation on his pinky that almost felt like a pull. Kame didn’t know towards what.

He wanted to tell Jin, because the whole thing was really weird and, at that moment, Jin was his best friend. But Jin never answered the text Kame sent, and he didn’t pick up his cell when Kame called.

When Jin missed practice on Saturday morning, Kame was worried enough to phone Jin’s mom. And then, he was hurrying to Jin’s house, skipping the rest of the practice, without even bothering to change into normal clothes or to shower.

Jin’s typical early winter cold had gotten worse while his family was out of town, and his fever was too high for him to go to practice. Although Jin’s mom argued that Jin was doubtlessly all right, just the thought of his friend being sick, alone and feeling miserable, was too much for Kame to bear. Jin needed him.

He had long lost track of his own affection. He forgot about it, and didn’t connect the two facts until years and years later.

***

Kame parks the rental car two blocks away from the business hotel Yamapi directed him to. It’s well past midnight so the traffic wasn’t hellish as it usually is during daytime. Kame secretly resents that, because it would have given him an excuse not to come here.

And then he scratches that thought. He is a fully-grown adult now; he doesn’t need to find excuses for doing things or for not doing them. He sighs. Trust Akanishi Jin to make him feel like he is an awkward adolescent again.

And, for some reason, Kame decides, that isn’t too bad.

He still checks his reflection on every shiny surface he comes across with as he walks towards the elevator. He adjusts his black silk tie and fixes his hair on the elevator’s mirror, internally snorting at himself for being a complete dork.

***

It had something to do with Jin. That was the only thing Kame knew for certain.

It took him years to even notice there was a connection. But by the time the filming of _Gokusen 2_ wrapped up, Kame had little doubt about it. Every time Jin desperately needed help or felt lonely, Kame’s left arm would prickle and a dull ache would settle on his left hand, radiating from his pinky finger.

He never told Jin about it.

***

The hotel isn’t overly luxurious, but fancy was never Jin’s thing. The hallway is well lit and minimalist, all clean lines and chromed metal. Stylish and practical. No rich carpeting or unnecessary embellishments.

Nothing to distract Kame as he makes his way to Jin’s suite. 

They haven’t spoken since way before Jin’s wedding. But general belief notwithstanding, they didn’t part in bad terms at all. They had drifted away peacefully.

And Kame’s feelings tend more toward bittersweetness these days. More sweet than bitter, because Kame is, after all, an adult now. And he was an adult back then, when Jin left. He understood. He always knew it was harder for Jin, the Agency, the restrictions. He gets it.

He might have resented Jin a little at the time, but not now. It’s almost funny to reach out to that place that used to hurt so much and find it completely healed.

***

Kame wore the ring in his left hand. Pure silver around his pinky. Silver was supposed to keep away vampires. Or maybe werewolves, Kame didn’t really remember. But he hoped it helped.

It didn’t work.

Maybe it was because Jin had bought the rings. Kame wouldn't have put it past him to lie and say they were made of silver when they weren’t, but that was not all there was to it. Maybe they were silver and still didn’t work.

Maybe it was because Jin had also bought a ring for himself, and both of them wore them all the time. Maybe it was just the fact that Jin wore his ring on his right pinky, and every time Jin sneaked his hand around to lace his fingers with Kame’s, their rings clashed. Maybe what Kame kept feeling was the eternal reverberations of metal on metal, all over him.

***

“I knew you’d come,” Jin says, instead of anything resembling a greeting, when he opens the door of his room.

It’s so weird seeing him in person after all this time. Jin looks so different, and Kame can’t help but chuckle at the newly added facial hair, but he still _feels_ the same as the last time Kame saw him. The same aura, the same heat that made Kame’s teenage years a living hell. 

Kame smiles.

“I mean...” Jin’s voice is a bit raspy as he adds to his previous statement, but his posture is relaxed. Welcoming. “I mean before Pi mailed me.”

“Can I come in?” Kame asks, softly, and it’s Jin’s turn to chuckle.

“Of course. Sorry.”

There’s a bit of a numb feeling in the pit of his stomach as he walks past Jin and into the living room of his hotel suite, but Kame expected this much. After all, he never stopped loving Jin. He learnt to control it, to turn it into something positive over the years.

But Jin is his soulmate. That will never change. And Kame will always, always love him.

***

It was Yamapi who first added two plus two.

Because the arm thing kept happening, all the time. And it got worse when Kame was filming _Nobuta wo Produce_ with Yamapi. Jin got needy with an alarming ease, especially when both Yamapi and Kame were busy as hell with filming and promo stuff. And together. Ryo tried his best to be there for their whiny friend, but he also had a life.

So one late night, while they waited for the lights to be adjusted for the last scene of the day, Yamapi noticed Kame trying to ease out the ache of his pinky finger. Again.

“You should go and see a doctor about that,” Yamapi recommended.

Kame tsked at him and faked his most friendly smile. “Don’t worry. It’s nothing.”

And then Kame’s phone vibrated in his pocket signaling an incoming text.

“So Jin’s still awake?” Yamapi looked at him, his face particularly unreadable; there was a new _something_ behind his eyes, that Kame didn’t know how to identify, even if he had been successfully relearning Yamapi’s expressions.

They hadn’t talked to each other for most of their high school days, after all; it was natural that there were new developments in both of their personalities, things that they had missed. Kame didn’t have to be comfortable with that, though.

“Why do you assume it’s Akanishi?” Kame asked, trying to sound nonchalant even when he knew that Yamapi was probably right.

“This has happened before.” Yamapi didn’t even blink. His voice was as deep as his stare. “It has happened a lot.”

Kame looked at his phone, read the _”I’m bored. Are you still filming?”_ text under Jin’s name, glaring at him from the display. He could feel Yamapi’s eyes on him the whole time.

“It’s complicated,” was the only answer Kame could come up with.

“It starts at your left pinky, right?” It was a rhetorical question, and Yamapi didn’t leave time for Kame to answer it anyway. “So maybe it’s your red thread of fate. The one that ties you and Jin.”

Kame raised one perfectly groomed eyebrow, and stared at his co-star and once, long ago, close friend.

Yamapi stared back.

“I didn’t know you now read shoujo manga, Yamapi.” Kame’s voice sounded bleak even to his own ears.

There was a long, heavy silence, interrupted only by the AD-san's call of _"five minutes"_ until the setup was ready for their last scene.

Yamapi didn’t bring up the subject again that day, not even when they were changing into their street clothes in perfect silence, or when they were on the van that got them home. Yamapi didn’t mention it when Kame said goodbye with a nod of his head and barely looking in Yamapi’s general direction.

And Kame didn’t tell him that he thought it made sense. Because he didn’t want it to make sense. Because it was crazy, and foolish, and probably not true anyway. Because things like soulmates just didn’t exist in reality.

Because he wanted it to be that way. And he just didn’t want to think about why.

***

The whisky from the minibar turns out to be quite decent. The couch Jin and Kame are sitting on could be fluffier, but it’s not so bad either. Overall, he doesn’t have much to complaint about. Usually, that would annoy Kame, but not today.

He didn’t expect to feel so relaxed.

“So, you knew I was in the neighborhood?” Kame rambles, savoring the woody taste of his drink.

“Well... I have my methods,” Jin utters as he sips on his beer.

He makes a face, one that Kame remembers well. Like he’s trying to be shifty, but he turns out completely dorky. His eyes open too much, his mouth presses thin. He is adorable.

A short laugh slips through Kame’s lips. And Jin stabs him with a look of faked outrage.

“What?”

“Nothing... It’s just...” Kame mumbles dismissively into his glass. Then finally, as Jin’s stare doesn’t relent, he clears his throat, and then he adds, “You sounded kind of stalker-ish…”

“I wouldn’t stalk _you_ ,” Jin retorts, but his voice has an edge of something dark, and secret. Something that makes Kame’s heart skip a beat. “As I said, I have my methods.”

Jin nails the shifty look this time; it makes Kame’s insides melt and his soul soar. Because some things just don’t change. Ever.

***

Maybe he was in love.

Kame didn’t say it. Not out loud. He didn’t even think about it with full sentences or complete ideas. Because putting it into words would make it real, and he didn’t want that.

He wasn’t gay. He liked girls. He had even confessed to one of them in the hallway and been rejected. And, okay, that had been way back in middle school, but still…

Maybe Jin was no longer his friend, but he was his colleague. And still, you weren’t supposed to fall for your not-quite-friend either, least of all if you worked with them. It didn’t matter that Kame was tied to Jin by a cosmic thread that he doubted even existed outside of his head.

They were worlds apart, and getting farther away by the minute. They were too different. There were too many tiny pointy things between them that hurt too damn much. 

It didn’t matter that Jin was back from the United States, because actual, physical distance had never meant anything at all. It just didn’t matter. 

The pull was there, ever present. But Jin had become a tall wall, and Kame just didn’t have the will or the means to push through it.

***

The comfortable silence stretches for as long as they have something to drink. Kame wishes they were in a smoker’s room so that he could have something else to do with his hands. But…

Well, Jin is okay. No fever or injuries, none visible at least. No other evident emergency either. And Kame hadn’t even thought of an excuse before coming here. At 1 AM. On a weekday.

It’s a bit odd that Jin himself hasn’t asked yet why Kame is there, why he called Yamapi to ask whether Jin was in the States and where was he staying.

“You’re thinking out too loud,” Jin drawls, and Kame realizes he has been staring at the bottom of his empty glass for too long. 

He shrugs, leans forward to leave the glass on the coffee table. And he startles when he finds that Jin has moved closer to him on the couch.

Jin still smells the same, and not only because he hasn’t bothered changing neither his shampoo or his aftershave brand since their years in the Agency. He smells like American beer and old cigarette smoke. Human. Warm. Too damn enticing. And Kame might have been building his immunity to Jin for far longer than he cares to admit, but it has been _years_. His blood just falters, betraying him.

“What’s with you?” Kame manages to ask without stuttering.

He has no option but to look into Jin’s eyes. The electric current he feels all over his skin throws Kame’s mind back again to his awkward adolescent self; repressed, insecure, and a myriad of things that he isn’t any longer. Kame doesn’t know why, but he feels like smiling.

“I was feeling really miserable tonight,” Jin states, and a bit of embarrassment colors his cheeks with a pale pink.

“You are lucky I was around.” Kame’s voice is raspy, and his pulse is getting faster by the minute.

Everything feels so surreal, like a soap bubble or a crystal tear. Jin takes Kame’s hand in his, threads their fingers together, and Kame remembers pinky rings and secret laughter, too many lives ago.

“I missed you,” Jin whispers, raising his free hand to cup Kame’s cheek as he slowly leans in.

Kame tries to back away, but Jin’s loose hold on him seems to have developed gravitational properties.

It takes the training of a whole life in the entertainment industry, but Kame manages to pull himself together quickly enough. He forces his facial muscles into his best incredulity expression, and stares into Jin’s amused eyes. At least he succeeds in making Jin stop closing in.

“You are married.” Kame is sure that there are another million reasons why he shouldn’t kiss Jin, but he can’t remember them right now.

“Only in paper,” Jin rasps, and for one second he resumes his advances. But then, his eyes widen suddenly and he pulls back a bit. “Oh, shit… wait. I forgot to ask if you were with someone. You aren’t, right?” Jin’s face is a mix of worry and wistfulness. “Right?”

Kame lets out a half-exasperated laugh in spite of himself.

“I’m not seeing anyone,” Kame confirms. He chuckles at Jin’s visible relief. “But I will need the longer version about you not being effectively married.”

Jin’s left hand might not be cupping Kame’s cheek anymore, but the fingers of his right one are still intertwined with Kame’s. It feels too damn good, almost natural. Kame sighs.

“Well… that…” Jin covers his mouth with his fist as he clears his throat. Kame immediately recognizes the nervous gesture. “Actually, Meisa and I split up a while ago.”

“I’m sorry.” Kame really does.

***

It stopped happening.

Kame couldn’t say if it was a slow process or if it disappeared suddenly. He was too used to it. The less Jin and he spoke, the more the tingling in his arm mutated into a dull soreness. It lasted for years.

And then, one day, Kame noticed his arm no longer hurt. The pull was gone.

The news of Jin’s marriage, a couple of months later, weren’t that surprising. Not for Kame, anyway.

***

“She found out she was pregnant after we broke up,” Jin continues, his eyes are fixed on their joined hands. “So I didn’t move out of the house. We didn’t want to give the press too much to rejoice about.” The last line is delivered with so much venom that Kame would cringe if he didn’t know exactly what Jin is talking about.

Kame swears he can hear someone’s heartbeats in the following silence. Maybe his own.

“So you want me to be your… what? Your shoulder to cry on? Your distraction?” Kame tries to reach for his anger. It’s usually his best defense. But he just can’t connect with it. There’s a blockade of warmth, and coziness, and _Jin_ , between his heart and anything else.

“You are the one who came looking for me, remember?” There’s softness there, not scorn or anything like it. “And I don’t do rebounds.”

“I don’t even know why I am here,” Kame sighs.

He wants to surrender, wants it so bad. Resisting is like keeping himself from drinking a cold and perfect glass of water after a lifetime of living in a desert. Oh, he only wants to hold Jin tight, melt into his heat, kiss red constellations between his shoulder blades. Let himself fall, at last.

“Pi has a strange theory, you know?” Jin blushes, lets out a short and high-pitched laugh, because it seems as if he is embarrassed about what he is about to say.

But Kame knows. He knows exactly what’s next even before Jin starts talking again.

“There were times when I felt this weird… pain. Like a fire ring in my left hand. It was always when something happened to you. So Pi said —”

Kame has to kiss Jin then. He doesn’t mind interrupting Jin mid phrase; he just has to do it.

***

They do little more than kissing that night. It is late after all, and in spite of Jin’s reputation as a wild party boy, he does usually go to bed rather early. Kame is okay with that. He is actually dead tired too.

They fall asleep with their clothes on, not even bothering about getting under the duvet of the hotel’s king size bed. Kame’s hand remains over Jin’s heart during all that’s left of the night.

Tomorrow they will talk about what this means, and where do they wish to take it. They will laugh when they consider whether they have to thank Yamapi for developing his weird theory or give him a hard time for choosing not to be their matchmaker.

They will go back to Japan when their business are over, they will stress about how to tell everyone back home about them. They will worry about the press, and Jin’s career, and Kame’s crazy fans.

They will have fights over the smallest of things, and they will be passive aggressive asses to each other about it. Mostly Kame. Almost exclusively Kame. Jin will consider punching him in the face one or two times, but will finally decide that fucking him into the mattress is a thousand times more fun, even if it’s equally ineffective. Kame will continue being a stubborn bastard, and so will Jin.

But they will have each other, at last. Red thread or not, destiny or not. They will choose each other, again and again.

Forever.


End file.
